Saturday, May 07, 2005

Shaved Balls

by Chase Short

So I'm hanging out with some highschool girls, yeah?
Bottle of whiskey later, topic "shaved balls."
Yeah I got shaved balls, tastes just like ICE DELI.
Reply from youngin... MMMM I like Ice Deli
I bet you do!

Thursday, May 05, 2005


by Carl Koschmann

How was he any different than jesus, john q. symphony thaught. Jesus must have been one hell of a public speaker. That, John was not. Jesus had some killer facial hair. That, john had not. But, in most ways, jesus wasnt any more special than john q. symphony. John was better at controlling his temper and he didnt push his opinions on other people.

John had begun thinking about this on an early morning flight. John q. symphony and the other passengers were waiting in the terminal in the early morning hours, drinking rum and dozing and staring out the window. The only activity out there was a high-powered hose that was cleaning off the tail end of a plane. The hose was also equipped with a giant floodlight and the operation invovled five employees. John q. symphony thought the whole process was excessive. Surely, they didnt clean off each plane every morning. When they got on the plane it was still dark and john took his seat next to the window next to a girl who reminded john q of a racehorse, but more "passenger-like" and in fact she was wearing a pink sweater. When the sun began to rise shortly into the flight, john q. lost his breath. He nudged the girl next to him to share the thing with her.

John thought, what makes me any different than jesus. Here I am noticing things and trying to share them with people. Plus I cant move my legs. Jesus had plenty of leg room. Perhaps they were coating the wings with some sort of air-lubricant in order to prevent chapped wings.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Playground Circle

He loved to stick his head into friends conversations and laugh with them. He'd listen to the stories, learning this and that from them, and he'd picture where each one of his friends were from, what their houses and families were like, and what it must be like to grow up in the way that they had. It was generally enough to be witness, but he would always burst out with something, some comment or gesture or attempt to be funny. One time he cupped his hand around the armpit of the kid next to him, said that he just wanted to know what it felt like. "You're armpit is different than mine," he said and looked around for corroboration. No one got angry or made fun of him. The other kids just seemed disappointed -- which was worse than anger.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

In Place

Time elapsed, or maybe it didn’t, but something eventually occurred to him. He resolved to find the answer that had eluded him. If no one could provide the solution, he would seek it out himself. He would scour the world in pursuit of what was wrong with those people. Something had happened that he would set right, and he would show the world its fault. He filled his lungs with a new air and lifted his foot, allowing it to linger, reveling in its power. No one may care where it lands, but he finally saw the beauty in his own step’s possibility.

Monday, May 02, 2005

don't you want a fanta?

(excerpts from the likes of Henson C. Robinson)

-Not sure what is going on but I have decided to let you
in on what is in store for you if you are here...
enough said there.

-(to Jeremy Travelstead):
What time are you commin over???
DRAG RACES!!!!!!!!!!

-there were tipping of cars, display of breasts, dudes
getting beat up and having their pants and shoes stolen,
crowd surfing and all the other wonderful fruits of
a healthy riot.

-classes are doing ok, i have been a bit lazy in that area
but hey, what can you do!

-my pizza is in the oven and Henry is leading his troops to

-i must confess this is possibly the saddest news that i
have recived in quite some time. not that the package is not
in my hands but that UPS will not accept a name such as
Blow-Job Robinson.

-i am thinking of acuiring another serpent, i think it is
about time.

-I must say I am duly impressed! what got me was where does
this come from?

-any way write back while i sit in judgment. i am going
to the celing for the time being, (what?) good time makes
tities shine

singed, lord high Beanis